What: The Vulgarians 
When: November 4-22, 2025
Where: Baxter Masambe, Cape Town
Bookings: Webtickets
Writer/director: Louis Viljoen
Performers: Emily Child and Nicholas Pauling
Design: Kieran McGregor

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐•๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐š๐ซ๐ข๐š๐ง๐ฌ ๐›๐ฒ ๐‹๐จ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ ๐•๐ข๐ฅ๐ฃ๐จ๐ž๐ง – ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐๐ข๐œ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐š๐ฌ ๐๐š๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ง๐ ๐„๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐‚๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐ – ๐๐š๐ฑ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐Œ๐š๐ฌ๐š๐ฆ๐›๐ž ๐๐จ๐ฏ ๐Ÿ’-๐Ÿ๐Ÿ, ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“

I came home, after watching The Vulgarians and I drizzled a sauce of lemon and butter on fresh artichokes. Scraped off the flesh from each leaf. Ahh. Okay, so I am talking in riddles because I am trying not to spoil the drizzly, gooey, plot of The Vulgarians which is thickened with streams of well-aimed verbal thrusting by the two protagonists, Thomas (Nicholas Pauling) and Florence (Emily Child). It is sexy, juicy and yes it made me hungry – hence the artichokes – which I find alluring by the way.

In the play, we see Thomas and Florence who are bored by suburbia. They yearn for their former existence of thrills and excitement. That comes when Florence is jerked out of a โ€œmoment of empty contemplationโ€ at a social event, with friends. Or are they REAL friends? Anyway, this leads to Florence unleashing a list of wishes which hubby must deal with – or not.


The writing is lusty and yummy. We shriek with laughter as these two suburbanites become tangled in words and desires. They get physical as the wish list is enacted in a porn hub-ish lens with Nicholas Pauling and Emily Child providing a vivid tutorial on how things may be achieved for maximum pleasuring. What they demonstrate takes co-ordination and flexibility and Child and Pauling tease out a deliciousness in the klutzy and clumsy figurations. This play could have so easily been static with the two protagonists staring each other down but they act out and perform pleasure โ€“ or the idea of it โ€“ as theatre.

A lot of fun and impressive physical comedy is acted out on the platform of sex. Keiron McGregorโ€™s gorgeous set – stacked with tiers like a wedding cake – becomes playground and battlefield. And yes, note the bodily fluids (or blood?) on the walls. Oh the stains of suburbia.

Louis Viljoen, directing, brings in a vigorous porn pool-party aesthetic – but with brilliant dialogue – slapping backwards and forwards. Words and actions are cleaved and tethered together in desire, love and marriage – not necessarily in that order.


I thoroughly enjoyed this sexy caper – a cautionary tale to not be sucked into the banality of suburbia and marriage/partnership without golden moments of release. Plot spoiler alert: Beyond the release and sheer pleasuring, is a salient question about โ€œwords not actionsโ€. Does a fantasy f*ck qualify as betrayal? Morality and so-called perversion is mooted but I donโ€™t think that the protagonist is perverted at all. I think, that the surprise at the wish list lead to sheer titillation and the climax and resolution of the quandary as the couple surrender to the layers of their shared vulgarities and pleasures. Circling back to my earlier comment, they act out and perform pleasure โ€“ or the idea of it โ€“ as theatre. That is the take-home for me, mouthed by consenting adults in a safe space of the theatre.

I am amazed at the prolific Louis Viljoen. The luscious Vulgarians is a play to get us into festive season spirits โ€“ juicy, fun and entertaining.